Originally posted on J.S. Park:
I think about my life before Christ, how I used to live for myself and I would do good to look good and get good back.
I think about how something was always missing then, like I would find a particular interest and it would almost click but the edges wouldn’t catch and they’d just slide off the inside of my heart.
I think of how I objectified humans as blunt weapons for my secret dirty desires and planned out my next crime scene like an elaborate diorama: and all this to avoid the God who would speak to me at 3 am in the darkness when I couldn’t lie to myself about the futility of my deceit. I remember how the ceiling fan would accuse me of guilt with its every cut into the sides of my lying mouth.
I think of those moments when the veil of shallow…
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it is hard to share, the thought of having someone else the thing that means a lot to you. the idea that you have no control over your thing when it is being used but they say that after used your thing they’ll give it to you. I just had that same incident just then and it is almost like a fear of not getting it back comes over you. the yearning of having it come back to you is evident. this is only temporarily that’s what you keep saying. this is wrong you know but it is just what you feel. therefore, it is horrible to be stingy, selfish, but it is so easy to do because that’s the only thing you know to do at that moment. then I looked for the definition of sharing and this is what I found use, participate in, enjoy, receive. this is what sharing means to people and others. share with others even in the bible God says in his word that he loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7